the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
