Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."

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(818): View more from California

He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online

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(217): View more from Illinois

He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.

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