That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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