If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
