After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
