Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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