it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize