Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
