Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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