You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
