how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
