Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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