An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
