so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
