Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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