Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
