Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
