Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize