Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
