he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
