Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
