Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
