I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
