Sponge bath it is.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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