i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
