I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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