He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
