There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
