HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
