If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
