Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
