I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
