I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
