Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
