Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
