i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
