the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Drake has all the answers
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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