I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
