So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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