RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
