Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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