Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize