just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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