As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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