Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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