i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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