Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
