Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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