I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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