So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
