help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
