I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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