so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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