I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
