belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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