The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
tell your sister to shave her snatch
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
