We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
