2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
