he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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