I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
