how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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