I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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