the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
