3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
