I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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