He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The Olympian is in my bed
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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