Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm way too hungover for life right now
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
