Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
