not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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