Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
